Courtesy of Bravo
The most one can hope for in this very awkward, barely recognizable era of Southern Charm is for one of the show’s fiery women to call out their male co-stars on their “Good Ole Boys” bullshit.
Luckily, that’s exactly what we get at the end of Thursday’s otherwise underwhelming Season 9 premiere of the Bravo reality series, which mostly serves a reset following the demotion of O.G. cast member Kathryn Dennis and departure of fan-favorite Naomie Olindo. After several dull scenes of the cast milling around their homes, we end on Taylor Ann Green (not to be confused with Marjorie Taylor Green) going off on Craig Conover for supposedly enabling her ex Shep Rose’s cheating. She even airs out what could be the juiciest infidelity news since #Scandoval.
The title of this supersized premiere, “Vows, Vendettas and Vibrators,” is way more exciting and salacious than most of the things that occur on-screen. First, we stop by Craig’s house, where his girlfriend and Summer House star Paige DeSorbo is visiting. They bond over their unique love of cow milk in an increasingly nut-milk world before checking out a giant pool Craig is having built for their “future abode.”