Illustration by Luis G. Rendon/The Daily Beast
If Karen Whitehouse and Helen McLaughlin have any regrets regarding the mysterious fecal matter left on the floor at their wedding, it’s that the couple didn’t start investigating the case sooner.
“We should have shut down the wedding, turned off the music, and started interrogating suspects right there,” Whitehouse told The Daily Beast over a Zoom call that just happened to coincide with the five-year anniversary of that fateful evening. “We should have not gotten off the boat until there was an answer.”
Lauren Kilby, a longtime friend and guest at the wedding, agrees that they missed a golden opportunity to begin collecting evidence. “We could have sniffed their shoes,” she says. “We could have looked at their underwear. I only wish we had thought about that at the time and not prioritized your wedding.”